WeMoms
2 Apr 2024

My Partner is Afraid of Harming the Baby

Pregnancy
Sexuality and pregnancy
Sex: my partner is afraid of harming the baby
Camille Bataillon
Sexologist
Fear of harming the baby is one of the primary reasons why some men abstain from all sexual activity during pregnancy.
Pregnancy brings about a host of changes, including an array of emotions and physical transformations. Sexual desire may decrease for some men as pregnancy progresses, while others, feeling reassured and comfortable, may experience an increase in libido. There is no universal norm when it comes to sexuality during pregnancy.
In this article, we will discuss the common fear among men of harming the baby during sex, how to reassure them, and navigate through this delicate period.
What Your Partner Should Know
Many men fear harming the baby during sex. A better understanding of anatomy could reassure many.
  • Know that during penetrative sexual activities, your unborn child is safely shielded. They are enveloped by a fluid-filled amniotic sac and protected from infection by a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix.
Safety and Reassurance
It's essential to reassure your partner with accurate information if they are apprehensive about engaging in sexual activity during pregnancy:
  • Penetration and the Cervix: During sexual intercourse, the penis does not come into contact with the cervix. The cervix is sealed by a mucus plug and remains high in the vagina, protecting the baby in the uterus.
  • Amniotic Fluid: Amniotic fluid surrounds and cushions the baby in the womb. Sexual activity does not affect the amniotic fluid or the baby's safety within the amniotic sac.
  • Orgasm: It's safe for you to experience orgasm during pregnancy. The contractions during an orgasm are different from labor contractions and do not harm the baby.
  • Think Beyond Penetration: If penetration is a concern, consider exploring other forms of intimacy that do not involve penetration.
Communication and Comfort
Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial:
  • Express Your Desires: Share your feelings and desires with your partner. An increased desire for intimacy can be a natural part of pregnancy.
  • Understand Their Concerns: Encourage your partner to express their concerns and fears. Be empathetic and understanding.
  • Consult a Healthcare Provider: Encourage your partner to speak with your healthcare practitioner for professional reassurance about the safety of sexual activity during pregnancy.
Sexual Exploration
Exploring new sexual experiences can be exciting:
  • Expressing Desire: Remember, expressing desire doesn't necessitate engaging in sexual activity. Self-pleasure is also a great option.
  • Introduce New Ideas: If anxiety persists, consider new ideas or experiences to enrich your intimacy. This could involve adult toys, sexting, phone sex, or experimenting with comfortable sexual positions.
  • Create a Romantic Atmosphere: Enhance your connection with mood lighting, music, and scented oils.
  • Be Creative: Explore numerous ways to experience enjoyment, intimacy, connection, and sensuality. Consulting a sexologist can provide valuable guidance throughout this journey.
Mutual Comfort and Connection
Engaging in non-sexual physical intimacy, such as cuddling and massage, can strengthen your bond and reassure your partner of the emotional connection's value.
By addressing your partner's concerns and providing factual information, you can work together to maintain a healthy and fulfilling intimate relationship during pregnancy.
Remember, consulting your healthcare provider or a sexologist is an excellent way to address any worries or questions, ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience for both of you.
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a
aliah
12 Nov 2023

I am afraid I have to do this alone. me and my partner separated and he left me pregnant and he is in New York.

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
4 comments
A
Arnetia
Aliah, You're going to do great and be a wonderful mother. God is going to see you through this journey, I'm sorry you're going through this!
27 Mar 2024

Answer

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A
Amber
U got this boo ✔️ probably way better off without him anyways. An don’t ever forget u can always control him an have the upper hand if u want. Put him on child support make him pay every penny. He get a new girl she won’t get his paycheck bc u legally will 😊👍 and enjoy ur life w ur baby. Go on walks, go to park take pics etc.
27 Mar 2024

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A
Amanda
28 Aug 2023

Okay ladies, I have fibroids but it’s not harming the baby. So me and my partner had AMAZING sex twice and now I’m spotting a little. Mind you I felt no pain at all during sex. Should I be alarmed????

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
3 comments
A
Ana
Sex usually causes you to spot afterwards. Only time you worry about that is if it’s dark red an it’s a lot of it.
27 Mar 2024

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A
Amanda
Thank you🥹
27 Mar 2024

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M
Michelle
16 Jul 2023

Girls personal question.. I'm so horny these last couple weeks We're been having sex everyday 😊🤭 my husband try to don't hurt my bump so he's giving me a lot oral sex (l think he's getting obsessed with it) this 3last days we had very strong sex, we got very excited and we exceeded ourselves, we did it in the doggy position and today I start having cramps. I'm afraid that this is harming my baby🤔😐 What do you think girls? This is embarrassing but l need help

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
3 comments
M
Monique🧘🏾‍♀️🩵👣🩵🍼
😂😂 sex is totally fine unless the doctor tells you otherwise. ❤️ I can't get through the day or night without my husband touching me or I'm all over him🫢 so it's definitely normal.
27 Mar 2024

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V
Veronica
These are the problems I want!!! 😂😂 I have zero drive 😥 I feel bad. My Dr told me sex is fine, the baby is very protected... but seek your Dr's advice if your feeling unsure.
27 Mar 2024

Answer

S
Savaughna
8 Mar 2023

It’s a hard conclusion to come to but I’m almost positive I have postpartum depression. I don’t feel like harming myself or my children nothing crazy like that but I do feel spurts of sadness or like I’m not enough or doing enough I feel as if I tell my partner or anyone in my family everyone will jump to the bad and not listen to my wants or needs. I don’t understand why I feel the way I do but I definitely don’t feel like myself. I love my kids to death and I love being a mom I feel like I have no time for myself tho. And everything I’ve had to experience postpartum I’ve been in a lot of pain and I just wanna feel normal

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
2 comments
M
Masie
I know the feeling I'm feeling the same with nobody to talk to so I'm going to start counseling when I get my ID renewed
27 Mar 2024

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H
Heather
I know the feeling girl and I feel alone a lot but having someone to talk to really helps I haven’t had my baby yet and I go through this and this is my 5th baby but my last . I’m here is u ever need to talk but just know u are not alone ❤️
27 Mar 2024

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R
Rose
14 Feb 2023

So early this morning my partner and I were racially profiled and put in handcuffs. Literally treated as criminals due to leaving an area where a store got robbed. I have never been so afraid for my Baby's life, my child's life, and my life.

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
5 comments
🕸
🕸💀⛓ Trei ⛓ 🌹🦇
That's right! Sounds like a "get 'em!" to me!
27 Mar 2024

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J
Jaime
Omg! I am so sorry that happened to you guys!!! Wishing for a speedy “mental” and “emotional” recovery from such a terrible experience!
27 Mar 2024

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M
Marilyn
26 Jan 2023

I’m 16 weeks but my baby is measuring at 18 weeks, my partner was 10lbs, I am terrified of birth lol I’m 5’0 🥲

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
5 comments
🍹
🍹Jenni
Same thing happened to my baby! My first and only son! He was always measuring ahead! Back then they failed to change ppl’s due date! My son ended up coming 2 wks earlier than planned due date! He was completely healthy weighing 8lbs 4oz 21 1/2” long. I was very petite! I was all baby the dr said! A big baby!
27 Mar 2024

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✨📍Meek📍✨
My boyfriend was a 10 pound baby too and our son first baby always measured on the bigger side. But he came out 7 pounds and 5oz 22 inches long.
27 Mar 2024

Answer

K
Kayli
20 Jan 2023

Me and my husband got in a bad argument tonight and I had the worst panic attack of my life. I’ve been stressed out for the past week because my husband lost his job and I am worried all the stress and panic attacks are harming my baby. Please someone give me reassurance and please be kind…

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
5 comments
s
scout
Try not to worry to much and do stuff to keep ur mind clear
27 Mar 2024

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J
Janessa
Just breathe. There is time. He too is probably freaking out and scared and nervous. Men tend to feel pretty helpless during a pregnancy but work is one thing they can contribute. If that is threatened, oh man… try to reassure him that you guys can do this and there is plenty of time to find a new job. Meanwhile you work on trying to stay calm (easier said than done I know) and practice some self care. Baby is your priority right now. You both got this ❤️
27 Mar 2024

Answer

Y
Yvonne
24 Dec 2022

My relationship has decline since I had the baby my partner acts like a fucking asshole ever since I had the baby smh.

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
2 comments
m
michelle
Is this his first kid?
27 Mar 2024

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C
Cardessa
1 Dec 2022

I'm 6 weeks and 1 day today I noticed spotting this morning I'm so nervous cause I miscarried twice in 2020 14 weeks and then at 8 weeks it's nothing to ease my mind at all I been trying everything, I'm just praying 🙏 for this baby so bad 😔😔 me and my partner of 12 years so excited and it bought us more closer to each other I'm afraid of losing everything 😢

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
3 comments
C
Cardessa
NO heavy bleeding or heavy cramps everything is very light (Cramps)
27 Mar 2024

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T
Tishawna
12 Jun 2022

I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my first child baby boy💙 and I found out my partner is cheating. I’m so hurt , stressed out and confused 🥲🥲🥲🥲

Pregnancy Sexuality and pregnancy
6 comments
m
marie
Congratulations and I’m sorry to hear that . The things we go through it sucks ..
27 Mar 2024

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L
Lavine
It’s okay . People always show their true colors when you are most vulnerable ! It’s up to you on how you deal with it . Don’t let it take your focus off of what’s important ( your son ) and remember to try to stay positive . He can feel what you feel 🥺 I’m sorry that you are going through that it was probably time to just end a chapter before your next one started .
27 Mar 2024

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