WeMoms
2 Apr 2024

Dealing with Difficult In-Laws as a New Parent

Family
Family relationship
Dealing with Difficult In-Laws as a New Parent
Along with this joyous addition, you may also experience a whole new version of your in-laws: grandma and grandpa. While this can be exciting, the transition to parenthood and grandparenthood may come with challenges for all involved.
Let's explore how to navigate this new chapter together.
How to Handle Difficult In-Laws
  1. Communicate With Your Partner 🗣️ Open and honest communication with your partner is vital. Discuss your feelings about any challenges arising from the involvement of new grandparents and work together to find solutions. Being on the same page is crucial in setting boundaries and establishing a united front as parents.
  2. Try Not to Be Defensive 😌 It's natural to feel protective of your own parents or your partner's parents, but try to avoid defensiveness. Focus on finding solutions together as a team rather than letting disagreements create a divide.
  3. Talk to Each Other First 💬 When facing issues with your in-laws, discuss your feelings with your partner before addressing the situation. This allows both of you to understand each other's perspectives and come up with a unified approach.
  4. Listen to Each Other 🤝 Respect your partner's feelings and listen to their concerns. Both of you deserve mutual respect and support from each other, especially when dealing with extended family.
  5. Don't Point Fingers 👉👈 Avoid placing blame solely on one person. Instead, communicate your feelings respectfully, focusing on your perspective rather than attacking the other party. This approach fosters understanding and encourages cooperation.
  6. Don't Shut Down 🚫🔒 If the conversation becomes challenging, don't walk away. Take a break if needed, but revisit the discussion later. Give your partner time to process your feelings and be open to finding common ground.
How to Set Limits With Difficult Grandparents
  1. What to Do About Unwanted Advice 📜🚫 While advice from caring grandparents can be valuable, unwanted advice can be overwhelming. Be assertive in expressing your preferences as new parents, while appreciating the support.
  2. What to Do About Criticism 🤨🗣️ Address any criticism from in-laws tactfully, focusing on how their comments make you feel. Encourage a supportive and respectful approach to parenting.
  3. Let the Old Family Deal With the Old Family 🧓👨‍👩‍👦 You may find that your parents or your partner's parents respond better to feedback from their own child. Respectfully set boundaries while preserving family relationships.
  4. Set Boundaries and Limits Clearly, Without Emotion 🚧🧊 Clearly communicate your expectations, ensuring they align with your needs as a family. Stay calm and assertive when discussing boundaries to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
  5. Forbid Comparisons 🙅‍♀️📊 Recognize that every parent's experience is unique. Discourage comparisons between your parenting journey and those of others, emphasizing the importance of individual struggles.
  6. Be Fair ⚖️ Avoid taking sides and be fair in your approach to both your family and your in-laws. Strive to maintain a balanced perspective to foster harmonious relationships.
Compromise on Holidays and Reach Out
  1. Compromise on Holidays 🎄🕎🎉 Holidays can be a source of tension when balancing family time. Work together with your partner to find a compromise that ensures both sides feel valued and included.
  2. Make the Effort to Reach Out 📱🎁🏀 Take the initiative to reach out to your in-laws through thoughtful gestures like sharing pictures, sending holiday cards, or inviting them to activities with your children. Showing effort in maintaining a connection can go a long way.
S
Sara
1 Jan 2023

Has anyone had issues with your in-laws judging you on how you parent. My f.i.l thinks im bad mom for burping my daughter tooo hard and taking time off of work (so I'm not able to help with bills) to adjust being a new mom!! (Baby is never warm enough and I'm "beating" while I burp herel...). Anything I do is wrong!! ( He was an abusive dad, but thinks he was the best thing for his children)

Family Family relationship
1 comments
A
Angie
Don't worry about it he is projecting his insecurities about his parenting onto you. Its his way of making himself feel better. Its a real psychology behind it. I've researched a little bit on it.
27 Mar 2024

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N
Nikki
8 Jun 2022

Any other moms feel like they need a support group because of dealing with in laws and have a very complex family life I just want someone I can tell everything with no judgement

Family Family relationship
2 comments
K
Kira
Maybe not in laws so much but why is it that every pregnant woman on top of dealing with pregnancy has to deal with some stupid bull crap on top of it as well! I know not one person who has a smooth pregnancy with no family or partner issues or health issues. It's absolutely crazy. Don't feel alone 💖 I personally deal with partner issues. You'd think at 27 with my first child in a two year relationship things would finally feel right but it's still a struggle
27 Mar 2024

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N
Nikki
I don't have issues with my man but with baby daddys and one of which is my brother in law now long story on that
27 Mar 2024

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